Saint Charlotte

What do you do when you get a crush on someone?
Submitted by Desi.

I would not say it's a crush.  Not in the least a crush.  It is more that there is a connection between us, and I can't help but be aware of it.  It makes me unable to meet his eye.

I spotted him across campus today while I was walking back to my room with a bag lunch (bagels today, plus loathsome Hydrox cookies and skim milk), but pretended I did not see.  Once, one time, he did caught me in the stairwell of the English department and made small talk....but I wanted to tell him to keep his voice down--our conversation was echoing up four flights filled with professors, and snarky English boys, and preppy girls with straight hair and plaid shoes.

Also today I ran into Jonesy, this girl in one of my classes, who, like the crush, seems determined to know me.  And I think I will let her.  Last week we ate pancakes together in the dining hall, and it was almost without awkwardness, mainly because she talked the entire time and I made appreciative noises.  Although part of me just wanted to read the paper as always.  Today she shouted at me from the gallery above the student commons: "CHARLOTTE!  We're going to Stop N Shop--want to come?"  I already have a case of ramen, though, so I said no.

Back in my room now--the heat is off for the year, but it is freezing.  I think I will pile on the blankets and take a nap while it rains outside.  Never thought I would miss the clanging radiator.  Next week this whole place will be emptied out, and I will really be all alone.  I've already started talking to inanimate objects, so I'm not sure what depths of craziness I'll be descending into.